Welcome to GROUP HUG Headquarters
Begin here + get ya bearings
Hiya and welcome!
GROUP HUG explores the feelings and experiences we might encounter as we try to be in community with other people.
Like how it can sometimes feel like:
A painful (but necessary) experience with a steep (but necessary) learning curve
All of our friends move away anyway so where (and why) even begin?
Community is simply corny and thus really hard to imagine actually building together
Something we need to vent about even though we don’t have great models for non-toxic gossip
And how we’re all asked to try on new roles, like:
Being a facilitator even though it’s humiliating
Conflict mediation even though we might not feel qualified
Setting group agreements even though they always feel flimsy
All the while, doing our part to tap into the magic of a group of people (which is all of our role to play, not just one person!):
Helping decisionmaking feel joyful and not austere
Stoking participation in groups
Also the hard stuff – why it can feel so daunting or impossible to imagine being in healthy, loving community with other people:
Maybe because friendship itself is getting the product treatment
Or we’re out of touch with the history of people building things that came before us
And we’re burnt out from trying so hard after being relatively isolated for so long
Or maybe our community rituals are out of whack and imbalanced
Maybe you can relate
I began writing here because I love building beautiful things with other people and experience so much stress, pain, and doubt every step of the way.
When I’d struggle, I found myself longing to bail, counting it all as a failure, and avoiding any experience that stoked those feelings in me. But that instinct stood in direct opposition to my dreams of building devoted lifelong relationships, powerful community spaces, and…just generally being a brave and loving person.
Being in community with other people requires me to be a more resilient, loving, tuned-in version of myself. Writing here helps me clarify these feelings and imagine a way forward (or sideward or squiggleward) through the many microdramas that rear up along the way.
About me
My silly little life has been dedicated to bringing people together – in museums, co-ops, DIY basement shows, libraries, amateur dance classes for adults.
Currently I organize with the Bradley Street Bicycle Co-op in New Haven, Connecticut and also work at IDEO’s Play Lab where I was thrilled that “designing rituals and experiences to deepen belonging” would be part of my daily practice. Thank you for indulging me. Always feel free to reach out here.