I definitely go into a different version of myself/disassociate when I host. I’m usually so wrapped up in the logistics and setting the stage portion, that it at least takes me an hour to take a moment and breathe and settle into the event. From there I turn my logistics brain into more of my social brain on, but can tend to keep anxiously scanning the room to make sure everyone is included and having fun and finding what they need.
The most enjoyable hosting experiences I’ve had have been when I’m collaborating with someone else (plus having a drink), it takes some of the pressure off and allows me to be more present.
I often feel like a favorite version of myself when hosting. Having a job to focus on (prep the food! greet the guests! present the next speaker!) helps me feel *more* comfortable than when I'm attending an event and just...hanging around.
I also channel some wonderful people: my college roommate, Clara, who always made something delicious for parties; my friend Tim who greets each person with such warm curiosity that they feel they're talking to an old friend.
On the flip side, I get motivated by people who host poorly. The consultants hosting team workshops that I have attended against my will!!! I want everyone to feel the opposite of how I felt asking a question and getting disregarded in those rooms.
HA thank you for revealing the flipside of positive influences: the negative influences who make us want to be better! this really feels true for me too!
When I’m not fully me, I go to the only-preoccupied-with-what-you-need mode. When I’m feeling grounded in my essence, I’m less interested in accommodating and more interested in connecting, which seems to slooooow time down in a good kinda way.
appreciate the accommodation/connection distinction here. There is def something deep going on where if we pedestal this role, it leads to/results in a sense of separation of "host and hosted" that can be alienating for everyone!
Counterpoint, I would love to attend a party hosted by two people in a horse costume. (and appeciated the improv connection, someone I'm close with is just getting Super into improv and I am trying to understand her culture lol)
Thank you for that! I def feel like this sometimes, whether is because I'm on the interior in a very introverted day, or just really tired, but the context asks for high energy extroversion mode (or would be my inner voice the one's demanding it? Not sure). Or maybe, and specially, when I'm a bit rusty, and a bit nervous for an upcoming session. It's me, but it's not the "me" that's most me haha
Anyway, I also relate so much to the theater part, I do believe we are a narrative sort of creature, and theater is the best tech so far to capture that, oh, and myths and stories too! We live by those stories, to its helpful when we can role-play and step up to actually be able to see the concept of the story we are living by.
One thing that has been super helpful is seeing more and more diverse types of people hosting, is almost like their diversity could allow me to embrace the diversity in myself, so I can be me, however that looks like, and still show up as a host.
Letícia!!!!! Love this so much and BIG relate on the expansion that comes from seeing other people practicing hosting.....which, of course, requires us occasionally being participants and not hosting everything!
My hands, Elise. It's not that they don't have a mind of their owns when I'm not in "host mode," but when I am? They are no longer mine in any meaningful sense. They're on their own journey.
I definitely go into a different version of myself/disassociate when I host. I’m usually so wrapped up in the logistics and setting the stage portion, that it at least takes me an hour to take a moment and breathe and settle into the event. From there I turn my logistics brain into more of my social brain on, but can tend to keep anxiously scanning the room to make sure everyone is included and having fun and finding what they need.
The most enjoyable hosting experiences I’ve had have been when I’m collaborating with someone else (plus having a drink), it takes some of the pressure off and allows me to be more present.
Co-hosting is truuuuly the best for this reason and so many others
exactly this!
I often feel like a favorite version of myself when hosting. Having a job to focus on (prep the food! greet the guests! present the next speaker!) helps me feel *more* comfortable than when I'm attending an event and just...hanging around.
I also channel some wonderful people: my college roommate, Clara, who always made something delicious for parties; my friend Tim who greets each person with such warm curiosity that they feel they're talking to an old friend.
On the flip side, I get motivated by people who host poorly. The consultants hosting team workshops that I have attended against my will!!! I want everyone to feel the opposite of how I felt asking a question and getting disregarded in those rooms.
HA thank you for revealing the flipside of positive influences: the negative influences who make us want to be better! this really feels true for me too!
When I’m not fully me, I go to the only-preoccupied-with-what-you-need mode. When I’m feeling grounded in my essence, I’m less interested in accommodating and more interested in connecting, which seems to slooooow time down in a good kinda way.
appreciate the accommodation/connection distinction here. There is def something deep going on where if we pedestal this role, it leads to/results in a sense of separation of "host and hosted" that can be alienating for everyone!
Counterpoint, I would love to attend a party hosted by two people in a horse costume. (and appeciated the improv connection, someone I'm close with is just getting Super into improv and I am trying to understand her culture lol)
ok i'm sensing an alt title to this piece: do you feel like yourself while horsing?
Thank you for that! I def feel like this sometimes, whether is because I'm on the interior in a very introverted day, or just really tired, but the context asks for high energy extroversion mode (or would be my inner voice the one's demanding it? Not sure). Or maybe, and specially, when I'm a bit rusty, and a bit nervous for an upcoming session. It's me, but it's not the "me" that's most me haha
Anyway, I also relate so much to the theater part, I do believe we are a narrative sort of creature, and theater is the best tech so far to capture that, oh, and myths and stories too! We live by those stories, to its helpful when we can role-play and step up to actually be able to see the concept of the story we are living by.
One thing that has been super helpful is seeing more and more diverse types of people hosting, is almost like their diversity could allow me to embrace the diversity in myself, so I can be me, however that looks like, and still show up as a host.
Letícia!!!!! Love this so much and BIG relate on the expansion that comes from seeing other people practicing hosting.....which, of course, requires us occasionally being participants and not hosting everything!
My hands, Elise. It's not that they don't have a mind of their owns when I'm not in "host mode," but when I am? They are no longer mine in any meaningful sense. They're on their own journey.
haha wait, I need to understand more! do they fidget? do they jazz? or are they working against you in some conniving way?